Wedding bells

True love is not about that perfect wedding
True love is not about happily ever after
True love is the willingness to take a risk with the one who love you for who you are and working through life’s highs and lows together.

An inspiration I got from a movie entitled ‘I do (But I don’t)’. How true that quote is. When I was growing up (ok I still am… so... when I was younger), everyone talked about that dream guy. And the funny thing is I never had a list or a dream guy (I made up one on the spot when the question comes my way), I was always open to meeting and knowing whoever comes my way, unless he is obviously an oddball with serious issues.

But I did however have a picture of my wedding embedded in my mind – something that would happen when you’ve thinking about it since you were 13. I had always wanted to marry the first guy I fell in love with, settle down, have a career and start a family.

In fact, being a mother is my other ambition in life after becoming a speech pathologist.

However, I am not going to end up marrying my first love (I wouldn’t want to!) and the other parts have to wait till I get a degree and find a job and start working.

The point I am trying to make is that sometimes what others and you may see as the ‘perfect’ situation may not be it.

Coming from a traditional Chinese home, there are lot of expectations required out of future husbands that girls bring home. He has to have a stable and successful career, be a family man, be responsible for both my family, his and ours, wear the pants in the house and many others.

I do agree with most of them but I am annoyed with the expectation of having to bring home someone who is successful in the wordly sense, like he has to be a lawyer, doctor, businessman, pilot, engineer, or some high flying job.

Then where does the line: ‘in good times and in bad’, ‘for better or for worse’, ‘for richer or for poorer’ come into play?? I mean if I can’t accept someone who is just starting out in the work force with a low paying job before marriage, what make it possible for me to accept someone who lost all his wealth or career after marriage?

The expectations are there as the older generation meant well and wanted to see their daughter lead better life, but maybe it is this that is causing lots of unhappiness and broken marriages? Ultimately, money is not everything, but the relationship that a couple shares is the foundation of everything that they would build life on.

Don’t get me wrong though, it is okay to be in love with a rich and successful man, just don’t make it (wealth) the focus of the relationship, and make the two of you the centre of the relationship.

I may not have had a list when I was younger but surprisingly, I do have one now. Maybe the fact that I want to settle down early has made me more aware of what is required of a guy to make a marriage work.

So what’s my list?

Someone who posses the same qualities as my dad: self-motivated, responsible, family-oriented, God-fearing, respectful and decisive.

*to be honest I have no idea how I got here – I’ve missed the point I was trying to make*

The point I am trying to make is that true love is no happily ever after, but the start of a remarkable and unforgettable journey of two individuals merged as one.